I ran across an article on wikipedia recently I found interesting. Instead, it touts itself as OCD without the outward manifestations and only “both the anxiety-inducing obsessions and relief-seeking compulsions of OCD take place in the mind.”
From Wikipedia:
Left untreated, Pure O can be debilitating to the sufferer, who often finds work and social time consumed by the condition. While OCD is an anxiety disorder, the longterm effects of its stress can include exhaustion and depression.
Recent developments in treatment of type “Pure O” OCD has been very successful, with improvement/remission rates of 90-100%, according to specialist on purely obsessive OCD Dr. Steven Phillipson, Dr. S. Rachman and others. New York based Phillipson in fact classifies “Pure O” as a psychological condition rather than a mental illness or disorder.
Pure O” is a highly treatable condition that can be cured, however it requires the right kind of professional treatment/therapy and an absolute determination to become better. Successful treatment ranges from 4-6 months (milder cases) to 1-2 years for the average case.
A person with Pure O experiences periods of intense rumination that are triggered by intrusive or unwanted thoughts, sometimes called “spikes.” Spike traits vary widely by individual, dictated by personal makeup and circumstance. Some frequently cited illustrations include:
- A heterosexual man is making love with his wife when the name of his male best friend happens to flash through his mind.
- A loving mother spots a pillow and has a momentary apprehension of infanticide.
- A young bachelor checks a mirror prior to a date and feels a surge of confidence, but shortly afterward cannot recall what exactly led to that feeling of pride.
- An aspiring painter glances at one of her works and experiences a sense of insecurity about her abilities.
- A son is eating a cake his mother made for him with great care and love. He suddenly gets an idea how nonsensical it would be to throw the cake into trash instead of enjoying it and then telling his mother that he enjoyed it.
- A passenger is waiting on a train platform while the train is coming. He has a thought of what if he did a sudden erroneous movement and fell under the train.
Of course, these instances are not unique to those with Pure O; they are the sorts of day-to-day emotions and quirks experienced by human beings across the board. And for most people, such thoughts are passing and benign; at worst, they are momentarily jarring. For the Pure-O sufferer, however, such thoughts can be the spikes that induce panicky obsession, leading to an amplified sense of fear or self-doubt.
To neutralize the perceived danger presented by the spike, the Pure O is compelled into rumination, an often intricate mental routine driven by a pressing need to “solve” the fear or uncertainty. Ruminations vary from person to person. One type of rumination may involve continually reconjuring an unpleasant scenario. Another example might be an effort to precisely recall the sequence and order of thoughts that led to the spike.
These ruminations can be highly scary. For the example with the train, the passenger would normally react with stepping back a bit to be more safe and forgets the matter. However a Pure O sufferer after stepping back starts worrying about what if these thoughts actually increase the probability that he makes the erroneous movement? After longer time he starts worrying about the time spent with these thoughts and starts worrying if persisent intrusive thoughts of this kind actually cannot cause him a temporary impulse of disabled judgment when the train comes next time and him jumping into the rails actively.
These ruminations are accompanied by anxiety ranging from mild to severe, and can endure for extensive stretches, often hours at a time. Sufferers have described episodes that persist over a series of days. In most every instance, the rumination is all-consuming, essentially taking full occupation of the mind. During rumination, sufferers often find themselves unable to turn their focus to anything else, including “legitimate” sources of stress or danger. For instance: Genuinely bad news — say, word of a friend’s hospitalization — may not trump or even penetrate the anxiety felt by an OCD sufferer who is ruminating on even a seemingly innocuous matter.
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Well all i wanna say is best of luck 2 every one of u, bcz i have had ocd for about 7 years and just frm 3 months i started treatment so i know how much it sucks havin an ocd :S
I would like to respond to Garden’s question about significant others being helpful during a spike and following rumination period.
My husband has been so wonderful in helping me deal with my “episodes.” It was terrifying and almost unbearable at first to talk about the inner turmoil going on in my head that was causing so much anxiety. I honestly felt as though I was going crazy. However, for me, there was also a need to “confess” to somehow rid myself of some of the guilt caused by my unwanted thoughts.
When I finally decided to talk with him about it it was such a relief, and sometimes saying them out loud helped me go ahead and get through the episode. And although I already knew the absurdity of my thoughts before I talked about them aloud, hearing myself say it just reinforced how ridiculous it was and helped me to move on.
To further answer your question, I would say that it is very helpful to be there to listen and reassure no matter how ridiculous the topic sound to you. And just reassure and remind that person of his true qualities and character that are sometimes out of focus for that person during those times. There is so much self-doubt and guilt during those times. I feel like pure o attacks everything that is most important to you and causes you to question your character, and agreeing with some of the above posts, are the opposite of your true self. Sometimes, after a long period of time with no mention of a pure o “episode” he’ll kind of casually ask, “So are you alright? Any head trouble lately?” And I really appreciate that. If I am feeling anxious over some stupid something my pure o decides to bring up I’ll talk to him about it, and he really helps me stay strong and not get overwhelmed by it. He’ll say something like, “Just remember – think “Bring it on!” He tries to help me keep it light, which is key for me. That is my new and most successful way of dealing with it – Just let it be there, say bring it on, and laugh in its face. However, believe me, I know it’s easier said than done! It’s an ongoing battle, and sometimes pure o wins, but that’s ok.
So, yes significant others are very important! I guess just being there to talk to is important, but also don’t always wait for your guy to bring it up – that can be really difficult.
And I guess a lot of you may have come across it if you’re looking around for stuff about pure o, but if not check out ocdonline.com and read the article tilted Thinking the Unthinkable by Dr. Steven Phillipson.
Hello, I had traditional OCD for a long time probably from 8-18 yrs old. I had all the lucky numbers and touching things and checking things and what not. Eventually I began to challenge the thoughts “My mother will not die if I dont touch the door 8 times” and I forced myself to walk away and when I saw no one died I slowly overcame this type of OCD
Over the past few years I began to develop a different issue. I can’t help but latch on to noises and voices. Like when I’m in the library I can’t study because of the whispering of the person next to me and I latch on to his voice and can’t let go. I fear I will continue to latch on and not ever be able to concentrate properly, after that the latching on spilled over into other things like clicking clocks or squeaking noises and I have a natural anxious response to clocks and voices especially while studying. The fact that day in and day out I do have the issue of lacthing on to these things only proves the scary thought correct that I will have this forever and the anxiety caused is sometimes to much to bare. After hearing about Pure-O I’m fairly positive my symptoms fall in this category. Any thoughts on this issue or ever had something similiar?
I was diagnosed OCD earlier this year. Like many of you here, I too have the “Pure O” form. Just a little background..I’m 37 yr old married mom of 2 great kids. My whole experience stems from one single nocturnal panic attack that jolted me out of my sleep. As this was my first ever panic attack, I didn’t know what was happening to me. I thought I was going crazy and had a fear that I was going to lose control of myself and harm my kids. At one point in my panic, my thoughts were like an impulse?? Has anyone else experienced this?? Like an impulse to act on their thoughts? This is what scared me the most, as this is something I would NEVER do! My obsession started from there, I ruminated constantly about why I was having these thoughts, and wondering if I’m capable of acting on these thoughts. Oprah had an episode one day with a bipolar mom who drowned her child. That got me in panic all over again, thinking “maybe I’m not OCD, maybe I’m bipolar, maybe I’m scitzofrenic, maybe I’ll sleepwalk and hurt someone”
With the help of many good books, and the internet, I’m a whole lot better now than what I was. My life has almost returned to normal, but what is still bothering me is the fact that I had an impulse or urge. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is this a normal part of the OCD intrusive thoughts?
I just want to let you all know how brave I think every single one of you is.
I have pure-O as well. I just realized this days ago. my obsessions/spike have included:
* Am I pregnant (high school)
* Did I say something stupid (after every conversation in college)
* An image of me getting a paper cut on my eye (absolutely nutty as a Mars Bar, I know, but even though it is completely stupid, the thought repeated for weeks and weeks. I actually could feel the pain when I was ruminating and my hand would fly instinctively to my face. Now, I just laugh at this idea… except it occasionally comes back)
* Fears that I would start ruminating about other disgusting fears
* Do I have AIDS? (Not rational seeing that I have been in a dedicated relationship for a long time now and have never had unprotected sex.)
* Do I have something else- bipolar, schizophrenia (lovingMom, this is something I’ve thought of too. It’s the Pure-O talking… HONEST!).
I just went to see a psychologist for the first time today, who told me to “distract myself” by thinking “happy thoughts”. Needless to say, I’ll be calling a new psychologist tomorrow. It wouldn’t be Pure-O if I could just think happy thoughts.
I feel silly and emotional right now for writing this, but feel like I want to send a message out to all of you:
You are loved. By family and friends and God and even though I’ve never met you, me. Good luck with conquoring those demons and you’ll all be in my heart as I work on slaying mine.
Hi everyone. Last night i was bawling my eyes out praying with everything i had….asking God to please give me an answer. Thinking I was crazy….not understanding why my brain works the way it does, and why i think the way i think. I asked over and over for God to give me an answer and help me understand. Today i found this archive and i found my answer! I am so relieved, and i am 99.99999% positive i have this disorder.
It started when i was about 9. I had these progressive thoughts about sex. i was scared i didnt understand it. I felt guilty for thinking certain thoughts. I would think about sexual experiences with a family member, and not understand why these thoughts would enter my head an OBSESS…this lasted about 6 months…every night i would have to tell my mom that “i was thinking about it” just to make the guilt go away.
Then about 5-6 years later i started questioning suicide. It was something i knew i could do…and knew how easy it would be to just do it. I was so scared i was going to do it and i couldnt understand why i had these thoughts. About that same time, i started questioning my sexuality. I knew i wasnt a lesbian…but i was scared to death i was..and couldnt stop justifying this feeling with all these random reasons why i was a lesbian.
I am in the middle of another “spike” now. I love my boyfriend i know i do. i want to spend my life with him. But its me knowing how easy it is to end our relationship. I could just end it..i have all the power in the world..and im scared to death of this. I dont want to end it….i dont!!! but i keep trying to tell myself i do…i dont love him…i dont love him. I avoid everything that reminds me of love. Every TV show that revolves around it….i havent watched a movie in like 2 weeks….and every time i see another couple i question weather their love for eachother is stronger than mine…. omg i hate it!!!!!! i want it to go away. i hate my brain.
Thank you for all of your help. Im so glad i have finally pin pointed my crazyness. i KNEW it was something more….the feelings i have experienced all through life has NOT been just simple stress and normal anxiety. Its something else…its this deep deep burdon….its out of control. Im making an appointment tomorrow.
Oh yes, Justin….THANK YOU!! You saved me!
Merry Christmas everyone….
oh yeah one more question. When i was going through an episode about 6 years ago….My mom wore this purfume (abercrombie) and i had this new mix CD a friend made for me that i was listening to constantly through out my episode…. i STILL cannot stand the smell of that purfume and i get anxious when i hear all those songs on that CD. Does that happen to other people too??
Hi guys,
I’ts a shame that this condition isn’t as well know as the more obvious ocd syptoms because i’m sure more people wouldn’t have to keep living with this horrible condition.
I certainly showed signs of this condition from a very early age but I think i can pin point when it turned into affiction. When i was 16-17 i was smoking pot mainy just on the bong and taking pills and acid farely regualry. one night the paranioa kicked in then never went away. 12 years later after giving up all illigal drugs (ie still on the booze) have good days and horrible days and i am now getting very bad symtoms if i have a bad hang over.
I have started taking 5-htp and l-tyrosine hopefully i will be able to keep these evil thoughts at bay if anyone else can recomend any effective natural remedies i would appreciate advice.
Also has anyone had problems the morning after activities such pot smoking, extasy, amphetamines (including caffine) and esspecially alcohol. i found that if i drink to much the next day my symtoms become almost unbearable, does anyone else have this experience?
does anyone have physical pain associated from the anxiety of hocd? the anxiety makes me tense as hell and usually gives me pain in the groin area when its bad. i think its even worse then the thoughts. if anyone has any suggestions or similar stories please let me know.
Carah-mello, I had that same experience that you mentioned, except mine was a Coldplay song. It brings me right back to that ruminating phase every time I hear it.
One thought for you, Carah-mello, (and I am by NO means an expert): you say that you have been ruminating about whether you love your boyfriend or not. Remember: this is known as “the doubting disease”. You do love your boyfriend, but your brain is making you doubt yourself. Instead of avoiding love movies, how about flooding your brain with them? Watch every love movie, listen to love songs, in essence, go hunting for this spike about whether you love your boyfriend or not. My psychologist says by boldly seeking out your spikes they lose power, and it has worked for me in the past. Let your brain flood with all of these thoughts about ending it with your boyfriend while watching these love movies. When the thoughts come, think, “Thank you, Pure-O, for alerting me to the fact that I may not love my boyfriend. I choose not to agree with you, though. We have two thoughts here and I am going to believe in mine.” Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat- every time the spike (bad thought) comes up. I’ve heard it takes 90 minutes of doing this straight to kick a bad thought for good.
Because by trying to block out the thoughts, they seem to “attack” more. Go hunting for the little SOB’s (the thoughts, that is) and show them you are not scared of thinking of them anymore!
Just an idea. This worked on one of my worst spikes. Again, I’m no expert. Your experience sounds so much like mine, I just had to write. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone too!!!
Hi I am murgan,
I am from India.
I randomly went thru the posts here….
I was also diagnosed with OCD 3 years back….
some months back I realized that mine was “pure O”.
But anyways the symptoms showed up 7 years back from now…
After a bad period of depresive episode during my college days, I came out of the phase myself bfore meeting the psyc.
Then I started taking fluoxetin and later switched to Feliz-s. Meanwhile had my CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy). With passage of time, I was having better control over my OCD.
First of all I thank the person who gave reference to “www.ocdtruth.com”.
Actually my experience with OCD was almost simillar to that of that author…..Once if you learn to have ocd within ur control (not resisting the thought – “it’s ok to have ‘not ok’ thoughts”), you will start feeling better…
3 years back, I acepted and decided to learn to live with it rather than feeling handicapped because of the fact that I have OCD…
But there was again a drift….
2 year back I was diagnosed with ADD. I had difficulties in comprehending long sentences and handling numbers…The same psyc. told that I have ADD….
This time it really interfeared with my work…After started taking tomoxetin-18 mg, I am able to cope with my executable-memory problem…
Now I have started to live with both OCD and ADD….
I forgot to tell that “practising YOGA” helped t cope with the problems…
The breathing exercises over a period of time induced in me a sense of well-being.
Medication,CBT and yoga are supportive…..
I do have my own experiences…but I don’t have much of emotional attachment with my OCD thoughts as of now…..
But what i have realized was that , To expect benefits from ur medication and CBT, one should really have the thought to come out of his/her depression. If one lacks self-drive, then recovery might take long time….
Please feel free to mail murgkanny@gmail.com
i need help bad . does anyone have a problem compusively calling people. i know it sounds like im a stalker. i hate that i do it. i swear i do.
Hi daria
can u explain what u feel like when u have te compulsion to call people?
try stopping it…if u do what kind of resistance come in ur mind?
just explain….
most of the times people having ocd need to have a mental diet – procesing only selective thoughts. Identifying the thoughts that u need to ignore will come with experience.
its hard to explain..its like an addiction, like i need a fix. ive had this prob with only a few people. these are people that i became very dependant on and in some cases it became the same for the other people. as soon as i get out of one relationship, i unintentionally find myself in a new but similar one. i know how this sounds and am very concerned what u guys will think of me. it even happened with a crisis intervention line and sometimes im sick about it. i know how wrong it is. i want it to stop and when i try not to call sometimes i have physical symptoms: usually just anxiety. other times its like im a junkie. i call just to make the feeling go away. i have to stop typing but thanks for listening
hi…don’t feel bad about it. pls feel free to mail me at murgkanny@gmail.com
Also u can join the forum “http://forum.neurointerests.com/”
there i have written my experience and belive many people will share theirs…
To ur question:
Its ok if u obsessd calling people. Nothing wrong. But the result is that the person at the other end(whom u r calling) may feel absurd or awkward. So what…
U said that u had physicall symptoms when u tried refraining urself off ur compulsion right?
thats a good symptom. that anxiety will last only for few hours/mins. but u shouldn’t give up.
Try one day: though u have the compulsion to call…just divert urself by doing the work that mosts ineterests u. Also write don all the beliefs that come before u when u actually are refraining urself from callin…
U will then realize the belives clearly that are behind ur compulsion. Earlier though u may be aware of ur beliefs, once they are written in a paper, it will be more clear.
Better start consulting a psycologist and have CBT. It really helped me a lot.
What i told u was an analogy of what my psycologist told me…
Carah-mello, I just wanted you (and every other pure-O sufferer) to know that you are not alone. About 5 years ago I went through EXACTLY what you are going through right now and I spent many days and nights bawling my eyes out as well. I had been with my now ex-boyfriend for about 10 months at the time when one day all of the sudden a question popped into my head and that question was whether or not I was “in love” with my boyfriend or not., up into this point I was truly convinced he was the one for me. “Normal” people think thoughts like these all the time but dismiss them before they ever become an issue, this is not the case for the “pure O” sufferer. The very fact that we even asked ourself that question is what is so devastating to our sensibilities. I truly thought that because I asked myself the question of whether I was in love or not meant that I must not be, but I must tell you that is simply not true.
So I tried to “figure” out if I was in love with him for about a year and it was pure hell. It was literally all I thought about and I can definitely relate when you say you look at other couples and wonder if their love is stronger than yours. I couldn’t go see movies about love either because it would make me so depressed and make me doubt even more. I had supportive people around me but no matter how supportive they are unless they have this illness they will NEVER understand. This all started when I was 18 and I am now 25, I did not know that I had purely obsessional OCD until two months ago and when I found out it was such a relief to know that I wasn’t just “insane”.
I have had many different types of spikes they vary in their degree of severity. I went from spiking and ruminating about if I was in love or not, being or becoming a lesbian, a child molester (ridiculous), if the world is real or not (still on that one), and the major one right now is I worry (spike and ruminate) that one day I am just going to snap and go insane and that I won’t even know that i’ve lost it.
The other major one that I am struggling with right now is trying to figure out if God is real or not. Now to some people this may never be a pure-O obsession for them because we really only spike about what we are afraid of loosing, it is all based in fear. When I was 18 I got “saved” and God truly changed my life. He became my life’s passion I did not know that having a relationship with God would be so fulfilling. But, about two years ago I just had a random thought that maybe it was all in my mind and that his presence that I felt was just a feeling I made up to make myself feel better. This absolutely paralyzed me and everyday I cried because he was my only answer to life, my only hope. I don’t think someone who has never suffered from OCD could ever understand what it is like to doubt your only hope in life and for living, it is truly heartbreaking and devastating. I know I am going on and on and honestly I probably could keep going forever telling about the experiences I have had with OCD, but I won’t. I will leave that up to anybody who wants to respond to me directly . I would love to share more of my experiences and listen to more of everyone else’s as well.
Hey guys,
Has anyone here had success with any medications? Any feedback you have would be really appreciated.
Lily,
I was on Effexor XR for about two years, I have been off now for 5 months. I started taking Effexor because I was having bad panic attacks because of some of my OCD spikes. Effexor was great in the beginning for my panic attacks, it was a life saver in that way, but it was not worth it because I had absolutely not emotion or motivation while on the medication. I would not take Effexor or any anti-depressant/anxiety ever again unless my panic attacks came back. That was just my experience with medication, it might work well for someone else. I personally would rather deal with my OCD than have absolutely no emotion or drive at all. Oh, and I gained 50 pounds in two years while on Effexor, and had never struggled with my weight prior to the medication.
Has anyone ever experienced these kinds of anxieties mixed with rapid cycling and manic episodes or hypomanic episodes of bipolar disorder?
I myself am bipolar and have found that, on a milder level, I can relate to a lot of these kinds of obsessions but find that they not only affect my moods but sometimes can be the CAUSE of my major mood swings.
With bipolar, one of the most helpful things is to find “triggers”, the kinds of things that will set you off, or greatly impact your mood in a negative way. I’ll start thinking about something, and obsessing over it for hours on end, and the initial thought will send me into a down mood almost instantly. It’s one of those things that’s really, really hard to shake.
Anyone else experience stuff like that?
Hi,
Only people suffering from Pure O OCD know what is living hell.
This condition is only understood by people who have it(might be a few
doctors.Hope so).As it increases with age I want to know what is its
destination or what is going to happen to us after ruminating 24*7 for about 5 years or more?Does this meds(balancing the serotonin) really help?Please reply me.
I think most of the people with Pure O OCD know about http://www.OCDTRUTH.com.I want to know how many people are successful in applying the universal truth.Any advice would be appreciated.
hi,
i have pure o.
I have suffered for years together but at last decided to change my life.
But still i struggled a lot (3 yrs back – but ocd since 7 yrs) to come out of that part of my inner world where my thoughts are repetetive, connected to magnified emotions and unclear. Then later i got sevaral help to improve…but predominantly it was only me who actually created the desire to improve myself.
So don’t wait for any dawn to suddenly appear and make ur ocd vanish all of a sudden as a magic…miracles do happen …but not to all and not evrytime.
Medicines do help. Take CBT. its a must. that will give u the force or insight to improve urself .
If u ask me how to develop the feel to improve urself?,here’s a suggestion:
Find out what u like in life – passion or ur hobby….
Strive to excel in that.
If u don’t have pasion for anything or couldn’t find,….then start liking(might be difficult but may have to do untill u find ur interest) ur work at hand….
You will find it difficult to excel in ur work and may 100% relate ur eficiency to ur OCD or other mind related dsorder…it may be true…but at this point do not worry or brood…
start looking for ways to have a methodology or any exercise that make ur work better or improve ur performance….when u actually long for improvement, CBT will be of more help…..
Its basicaly ur desire to improve keeps u healthy and aware more than self-sympathy or brooding….
I just shared my opinions/suggestions/experience…..God bless you…mail me if u have any queries…..
Also Pure O may not get worsen with age….i think its a myth….If treated with meds and CBT…u will have control over ur life…thats what is important….
I have pure O and have had to deal with it for most of my life – I am 25 now. I have to restate although it’s been said so many times already in this post – PURE O is Hell! There is no way it is a “weaker” form of OCD than traditional OCD. At least traditional OCD sufferers are more easily diagnosed because it is obvious what they have since their compulsions are physically present. I’m sure many people with PURE O have no idea what the hell is wrong with them and neither do people that care about them. It used to be that whenever I searched for OCD on the Internet I would JUST find articles about the hand-washing traditional side of it. Well obvouisly since I have pure O I would just bypass that because it didn’t seem to be what I had. We all need to be more aware of PURE O – I wouldn’t be surprised if it is more common that anyone had ever thought before because it just frickin’ doesn’t get the exposure that it needs. I find comfort in reading the posts on here because I know that I am not alone. Thank you all for sharing your struggles with this condition. And please remember you are not alone!!!!
I’m 56 years old. Had first ocd experience when i was 5 or 6. It just kept growing after that. I have been to many doctors who misdiagnosed or didn’t get it. Growing up in a manly town i just took the pain and thought that’s the way life was. Tried to commit suicide after 14 years of bronchitis to kill the germs. The sun and heat in Phoenix would bring it out so i moved away still not knowing what was wrong. At 40′s pure-o was putting me down. Ate food without any taste and lost all sex drive. Vision became impaired and so did balance (had to hold on to walls) Couldn’t sleep or even relax for 5 seconds. Cheeks puffed out and fingernails grew contorted. Hair was falling off. And worst of all became nauseated 24/7. Went to VA for about 6 years while medical doctors read blood samples but never sent me to a psychiatrist. Was sure i was dying so started death preparation.
Then at about 51 years old I got a tip that led me to diagnose myself.
VA doesn’t know anything about ocd so i did my own research and took over my own case. I’ve changed meds about 5 times and have read everything available on ocd. I do CBT, exposure-response, yoga, breathing, stretching, exercise, eat right, sleep right, take fluoxetine, fish oil and B-complex. The past 5 years it has declined slowly but surely.
Was angry for a while because it ruined the prime of my life and left me in a terrible place. Now i’m just happy that i know what it is and that it’s not going to beat me. I believe my ocd was so bad because i am such a fighter. All those mental wars only intensified it. Another problem, being macho and taking it without complaining extended the torture. Depending solely on doctors was also a mistake. I know more about ocd than my psychiatrists.
About the horror of it. Us veterans admit that it’s worse than battle. We would rather be shot at than have to go through this. At least we still have a will. I am a tough guy veteran and boxer and am afraid of nobody. I’ve been shot at, stabbed, kidnapped, and fought many fights. There is no fear greater than pure-o! You can imagine how scared i was, but didn’t know why. People can smell that fear. This caused many cocky cowards to take advantage only to find out i wasn’t afraid of them. So many people ready to jump when they smelled fear everywhere i went. This caused some anti-social behavior on my part on top of everything else.
Religion for me was a terrible waste of time. I tried and tried and tried but it never helped but made things worse. Why? Because you have to distinguish thoughts as real or ocd. Religion being supernatural (no proof)
couldn’t heal something that was biological. So if you’re having a heart attack or panic attack go to your doctor not your minister. Same for ocd.
In the past ocd people were persecuted and murdered by religious people.
They are delusional in rationalizing these thoughts. Immediately they want an exorcism. That’s another reason my ocd lasted so long! Am absolutely happy now with my belief in a real power that gave me the mind to heal myself. And the brothers and sisters plus resources to help.
This baby can be tricked and overtaken. I called in the panic attack and let it take me on the roller coaster. It was horrifying! But suddenly i swallowed and realized i had won and the fear went away. We’re all veterans of war! All those years i called it “THAT PLACE”. Days, weeks, or months of sleep. Severe depression. Constant illness.
Spikes happen in another part of the brain which adds huge importance and consequences to them. I know what it’s like to be normal and not so afraid. But you know when it’s coming from that place.
That means it’s pure-o.
I’ve identified family members that have symptoms but they are happy.
That means they have OCPD. Which i also have along with social anxiety and dysmorphic disorder. Multi disorders for most.
Everything i do is dependent first and primarily on my mental state.
Nothing is more important! It’s on my mind constantly. Situational awareness. Try everything. Read everything. Ask questions.
Help others. Go to group or seminars.
Good luck brothers and sisters.
ps i can never just dismiss or laugh about what ive been through
I am so grateful for finding this website!! My daughter 11 yrs. has suffered with bad thoughts for about a year now. (on and off) Her thoughts are scarry to her ie..I am affraid I will kill my self, am I a lesbian, am I pregnant (mind you she is eleven) her thoughts were very disturbing to her and she constantly is telling me about them. When she is done telling me, she feels better for awhile and then they start up again. Most of the time the thoughts occur when she is alone or bored. she likes to keep busy. If anyone knows of a good therapist in the northern Il area please email me kruse66@sbcglobal.net It is so nice to know she/we are not alone!
Bless all of you.
i am 18. i am a male. the honest truth is i have been touched the wrong way when i was 8 years old which is maybe why i have this problem. the thing is i know i am straight, i am honestly saying i am straight and i know it but i think these thoughts when i think about a girl for some reason my best friends face or his name would pop up or my manager or any guy i know. at 1 point i seriously thought i was gay but i don’t know how that would be possible when i don’t find men attractive. i spoke with my brother about this and he makes me feel better for a little while but the next day i would be down again.
i love women i always lived women everything about them i love. of course i love the way women look. but still i don’t know why i have these thoughts. i had this kind of problem since i was 14 but it only got this bad since 4 months ago.
its really hard to confront this problem in any way. i never told my brother what i really think inside my head. i also think about sexual things with another guy. i would get a image of me having sex with another guy for about 1 second but then i fight it. but again i honestly don’t find that attractive and i don’t get aroused by that at all. when i masturbate i masturbate to women, i have sex with women. i don’t know why i have these thoughts then also i have been in a situation where i accidentally looked at a guys rear and for some reason i watch it again like 4 or 3 more times i do it to stop the cycle its confusing i know.
but then that led to doing it purposely again with the 4 or 3 time cycle. i don’t know why i do this to myself i am not gay. i am 100% straight. but still why do i think these things. for the first time in my life i am really scared about myself. i am a smart person. i graduated early. i am in stress because my family is in a financial crisis and i have to work hard. but when i have the day off i am on the computer so i am really not focused. now i don’t know if the incident when i was 8 triggered this or is it the stress or is it that i am not focused but i do know that i can’t live like this forever i am willing to fight it anyway possible but i can’t have this consume everything that has my name on it. i just got a punching bag to get focused, exercise, and take out stress but then again this does not seem like it will be a walk in the park. please help me.
thank god for the internet.
charles
Hi charles,
First of all I am able to relate to your thoughts and your intention of seeing men again and again to stop that cycle.
I had such logic of seeing things repeatedly in order to achieve some target or that If i do this for 2 or 3 times then its for sure that I dont have any bad thoughts…..
Also do not worry about your thoughts about men (easier to say than to do)…Because people do get thoughts about their own relatives(family members) when they are sexually arroused. There is no logic to explain why this happens…..Even if you get thoughts abiut men, just allow the thought to float and flow in ur mind….This is possible only if you do not judge the thoughts….In many places of your writting, you have mentiones that your are honest and “honeslty say” – This shows that you wanted to prove to others and to your own mind(more importantly) that you are not a gay. You are giving a lot of importance to that thought.
Suggestions:
First acknowledge what you truly feel.
Whether you get arroused or dont get arroused. – both are fine.
Then think of what you actually want- In your case you say that you dont find men attractive sexually – So you wanted to be masculine.
So then say to yourselves that even if u get these thougts they dont reflect on your character..Aslo they just come (for reasons no one knows) – You cant explain why people get thoughts whcih they dont want. Just be choosy on thoughts on which you wanted to work on….Also you have to know that, its not wrong or doesnt mean gay if u get arroused on seeing a naked man. The arrousal is just an instinct. Its a message sent by your brain. If yoiu get arrousal just let it happen and start thinking of women and divert the arrousal as if it has happened for u to think about a women…..Initially you will have lot of resistance to follow this…but try…..
Charles, I have the exact same obsession you do and many of the same thoughts and emotions. Mine came on suddenly after a lifetime of what i would consider being normal and having no mental problems to speak of. Anyways, here is my advice for you and really the only thing that will make you feel better and this i guarantee. I tried just using meds because I thought it was jsut a a chemical thing and maybe it is? However, once you get these thoughts in you’re head you have to take the punch out them. The only way that I found that works is meds (which you may or may not need but i do) and cognitive therapy which is most important and you can find with any pscychologist that specializes in OCD. You will have to confront you’re thoughts and the things that scare you but little by little they will lose there power over you and almost become laughable with how absurd they are and why they caused you so much anxiety. Now this is like anything though, you have to keep doing it or it loses its power and you can be back where you started. Its happened to me, but then i just do it again consistently and the thoughts go away or lose their punch. Hope this helps, you have to confront them and I guarantee you a lot more happiness in you’re life.
Dan
Charles,
I have been through EXACTLY what you are going through and it is pure Hell, but there is hope. Have you ever heard of Dr. Stephen Phillipson? He is a psychologist that focuses on purely obsessional OCD. He has a website with many helpful articles that you should read. Once you realize that you have pure O (and that your not gay, that this is a real disease) you will start to feel so much better. My favorite article of Dr. Phillipson is titled, “I think it moved”, the link to this article is http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php. This article is solely focused on the understanding and treatment of the obsessional doubt related to sexual orientation, which is exactly what you are going through. This article helped me understand exactly what purely obsessional obsessive compulsive disorder is all about and that I am not alone. Let me know what you think about the article after you read it.
I have almost al the symptoms Pure O’s have and I have been under psychoanalytical treatment for like a year and a half. Is expensive and I’ve seen slightly improvement but I wonder if this is the right treatment…if there are other pure OCD sufferers who had overcome this or get to manage with it please tell me what kind of treatment did you go through. Treatment is being as expensive as college!
I’m 27 and have Pure-O. I think I knew I was neurotic and anxious ever since I was born but I didn’t know there werew other out there.
He’s my take on things:
Until the age of 11 I would only eat 5 specific things through fear of contamination and it made me feel weird socially. For example, I would not be able to eat at McDonald’s parties for friends at school etc… While physically healthy, I’m sure it must’ve made me feel odd.
Then in adolescence I obviously discovered sex and women and had normal feelings. I’m not sure if I had body dysmorphic disorder or it was just hormones but I was disgusted by markings on my body and certain shapes of my nose etc… I would go to extraordinary lengths to hide this and protect myself from ridicule that was probably not gonna ensue anyway e.g. being sick from PE cos I didn’t wanna take my shirt off.
At around 16 I discovered drink and found it superb and enjoyable. Then I started to find I was doing ritualistic things like flicking switches, only going to sleep at times on my alarm clock ending in ‘2’ and generally having mad thoughts.
This lead to my first real feelings of ‘what’s the point syndrome’.
I’d left school and had to take control of my own life and start making decisions for myself i.e. my parents and teachers didn’t do this FOR ME.
To this day, I still cannot make decisions and this has lead to total and utter disinterest in work and meeting new people
I resent those, esp. men who I consider driven and successful and would rather walk out of a job than be told what to do … and have.
As for my love life, I’ms cared to ever do this again cos the Pure-O makes me into the most paranoid, insecure and sometimes nasty person.
At first I’m charming. Then I believe everytime theyre out my sight that they MUST be cheating. Then I get the ruminations and images. I think they’re almost like split second dreams; vivid and horrible. My Girlfriend laughing at me, being screwed etc.. . This can produce cold sweat and high anxiety, not ideal when at work or on the phone to that person.
This leads to lies to excuse my odd mood or behaviour.
Then the self-medication boozing comes out = saying stuff that’s so hurtful and horrible it puts and end to things. Then I sober up, ruminate, grovel, say how much I love her to the point of begging & embarrassing myself (again). Its like I can’t resist saying whats on my mind – I HAVE to try and resolve it and get reassurance.
Lovelife seems to set off OCD more than anything. The thought of being alone or being humiliated.
My family love me to bits but that’s not relevant in my mind, I know that’s there so whats the point.
Does any else fnd tis with PureO? Have you got zero interest in literally anything that reuires effort as you can’t keep attention or just are plain to self-obsessed?
I’m so convinced no1 will understand this enough, I’ll end up alone and bitter like I am now.
IMG, i don’t have the same problem as you but I can help you find a solution. First and foremost, you need to stop drinking. You know its a problem for you, and all its doing is compounding you’re other problems. Trust me I speak from experience, i have been sober for a year and its the best decision i ever made. If you don’t quit, you’re likely to stay the same. I would suggest going to an AA meeting, which is what I did. You don’t need any fancy treatment centers just go to meetings and get a sponsor. You have to quit for yourself and because you want to not for others. Its not going to work any other way.
Secondly, regarding you’re ocd, you need to go to behavior therapy with someone who is trained in treating ocd. You have to face whatever is bothering you. It sucks, but its the only way to get better.
So there you have it, do those two things and I guarantee you results if you put the work in. I am speaking from first hand experience here. Best of luck.
Dan
Try CBT. Most of the people with Pure “o” go thru this phase od zero interest in everything. Even if u try to like something just to bring enthusiasm within you, it wouldn’t stay much or it would be artificial.
But CBT/medications will help you come out of it. Try !!!!
Now I have found what interests me. You may have to taste success to start liking what you do….All the best
Hi. My daughter which is 13 now, has pure o for a few months. She started to get prozac, and also started to get CBT.
However, she also has extensive learning disability, which makes it difficult for her to understand and cope with parts of the treatment.
Do any of you have an experience using CBT and having learning disability at the same time?
I think i have pure o although i have not been diagnosed …
ive obsessed over lots of different things since i was about 13 .. mainly of a violent or sexual nature (including pedophilia which is what i have done for 2/3 years now).
ive dealt the whole time by telling myself ‘i dont know why you try and convince youreslf of this but you know you dont want to do this, even if you wanted to you wouldnt, cos thats not what you want to be, and not what i am)
but because i didnt know it was related to ocd, i always told myself that having the thoughts must be some sort of reflection of personality and so the thoughts could always be there …
i also made myself think that these things must be true of me, as although they clearly cause me distress and im not alright being like this and the thought that im these things disgusts me (otherwise i wouldnt be fighting them would i??), ive never felt truly suicidal or felt that i couldnt carry on with my everyday life.
and i put this down to just coping very well, but then i always doubt that the distress i feel isnt as much as others…
recently the thoughts have been much more obtrusive, making me doubt myself severly to the point where i feel like because i have to reassure myself to be how i am with my friends family then i must be fake or something ..
finding out i may have pure o has made me feel a lot more rational about having had these thoughts, and recently i felt i had to tell someone, and i told my best friend and she suffers from the exact same thing. and in a way it made me feel better cos i didnt feel so abnormal .. but then i felt like i was comfortable being like this … which im not.
but another thought im having trouble with now .. is how much i try to persuade mysaelf not only that i am these things … but that I LIKE these things .. and that how i am with my friends and when i do feel happy .. isnt what will really make me happy.
and of course i constantly argue with this. i know my friends and family and how i feel with them is what would make me happy. and not such disgusting things as are in my head.
but i feel recently like im not just obsessing over what i might be. im trying to destroy all faith i have in what keeps me happy (friends family etc.) by making myself notice bad things about them or make myself think i dnt need them and pushing them away …
even though a big part of the fear has been not having them cos i thought i was crazy and was all the things in my head …
god its so confusing
Thanks to all those who replied.
Over the w/e I got incredibly bored and drunk but I believe it may have opened my eyes a bit.
I have Pure-O therefore I don’t think drinking, esp to excess is wise.
However the main thing I found was that I need something in a job that interests me. I work in I.T. which bores me to tears so the first thing we should all do is try and occupy our minds with something for thsoe 7hrs a day we have to work. Mor ephysical stuff would be good, perhaps gardening etc…? I dunno yet but I’ve ditched my job because now is the time I have to be more selfish than ever cos up until now, I haven’t been taking care of myself.
Therefore, those 2hrs tat would’ve been spent ona train will now be spent exercsing. Rushing for that disgusting takeaway can now be a healthy meal at home.
Seeing as I’ve had this bloody annoying disease for 27 years, it’s time to fight it properly and the main ways I see of doing that without medication are:
a) eat well and exercise
b) CBT
c) change my job.
Now I’m no genius but I hope this might inspire any of you who are doing jobs for nothing else except money and because other people think we should.
Hi IMG,
I am from India.
I have come to US to do my IT job. I will be here only for few months…
I agress to your point that more physicall work is better than IT Job.
Rather if you do the work that interests you the most or that which is aligned with your passion, then you wouldn’t feel the burden.
I also feel the burden as of now….but unlike the scope in US for physical work, there aren’t much scope in india forphysical works..(atleast gardening etc)…there you don’t get paid enough…India requires much more time to pay all its citizens equally(try atleast) for all works….
anyways my point is, I was also thinking to change my professiosn….like pursuinf higer studies in psychology and help people with simmilar ailments (I have OCD)….but since I am 26 now and that I have 3 years of exp in It and that I will have to return to India soon, I dropped that idea.
I do yoga…so thinking of taking that as carrier in my later years……
other fact is more than I like psychology, it’s like I dont like IT…so other professions seem to be attractive to me…..but I am also afraid that, what if I end up not liking psychology after taking it ……
So I have decided to stick on to my job and find a suitable position so that I have time for myself……
Sorry for the long post…but just wanted to share things…..
CBT for pure o which has learning disability:——
Hi, this to the mother :
did you ask the counsellor himself on this? Tell him that your daughter has this learning disability as well..He should be able to help.
I haven’t come across……..
But learning disability can be manages by special techings…..please enquire about that…If I come accross, I will let you know…..sorry If Hadn’t anwered your question.
Its always better to have second opinion with another psychiatrist/psychologist…the other person may know how to couple ocd treatment with learning disability(dyslexia)
Hi everyone. I’ve been reading responses here and feel so relieved that I’m not alone in my weird thoughts. However, I’m afraid they aren’t just in my head.
I’ve had weird thoughts ever since I was a little girl. But all those thoughts have went away overtime. I hardly think about them anymore. So those don’t bother me. But now since January I’ve had this weird thought that I’m becoming a lesbian. It’s disgusting to me to even think this because I’ve always liked boys ever since I was 9 or 10.
As I got older I started to get into makeup. So of course I liked to look at female celebrities and look at their makeup. ONLY their makeup. I didn’t care about the hair or the clothes or the way their body was or “did I want to look like them..” Only the face. lol
But in January I felt weird..Like..what if I’m not just into the makeup.. What if I like girls? I looked at a picture of a model in a really short skirt and got a feeling ‘down there’ and it freaked me out. Why was I feeling that way? It was scary. I kept trying to figure out why it was happening.. I would look at other girls in short skirts but the same feeling happened.
Last month it started to get worse. I started looking at boobs and getting that same feeling. I ended up feeling like this all the time. It was uncomfortable. If you’re aroused you’re supposed to like the feeling, right? Because I didn’t enjoy it at all. I’ve told my mom about all of this and she thinks I just have too much time to think about this stuff. I’ve been trying to convince myself that this is a yeast infection. I even used monistat for it. For a couple days after using it I felt better. I thought YAY it’s over! No more feelings down there! But then they started coming back.. It doesn’t burn anymore but it’s still there. Now I’m just wondering what does this feeling mean? I think about it all day long. I try not to but it’s hard. I feel like I can’t look at a picture of a girl’s makeup or watch tv because I’ll see a girl…and yes..afraid to go places. It sucks because I’m supposed to start school next month. So now what do I do? Is this ‘feeling down there’ all in my head or is it more?
Hello,
I have had Pure-O OCD for nearly my entire life. I’m 22 years old and have experienced just about every common “fear” that can be ascribed to Pure-O OCD to a T. Whether it’s fears of being a pedophile, hurting family members, or doubts that I’m truly depressed / crazy, I’ve had it. What bothers me most of the time (that is, for the past 6 years) is a fear of suicide. It’s so weird, because I can remember sitting in high school back in October of my sophomore year and hearing a student next to me tell a story about a local boy hanging himself. From that day on, I have feared suicide more than any other thing. All my OCD spikes somehow come back to protecting me from “thoughts” and “impulses” of killing myself. In reality, I know I’d never do it. I understand that’s how this form of OCD works, though – all it takes is one moment in time to start the cycle of self-doubt and concern.
My point in writing this, though, is to provide hope to those that feel so destitute. I underwent CBT a few years ago WITH GREAT SUCCESS. And, most importantly, I did it WITHOUT MEDICATION. There is hope for you people on this forum. Whatever you do, don’t rely on medication to treat your problems. Yes, I HAVE taken medication in the past for this problem. Frankly, all it did was numb me and didn’t treat the real issues that cause OCD – behaviors. I’m a firm believer that the neurochemical effects of OCD are by-products of malformed behaviors and cognitive patterns. Work with the CBT, because it will truly help you. Currently, I am experiencing a relapse. I believe that it is my fault, because I “overcame” the disorder and didn’t practice my techniques after several months and years of being nearly in control of the symptoms. The mind is like a muscle (hence, the theory of neuroplasticity) and needs to be conditioned CONTINUALLY in order to stay at a peak level of performance. But, I know that it can be overcome once again. Stress always brings it on for me. I guess applying to medical school doesn’t help : P . Have faith, people. Find a passion. And, most importantly, seek treatment.
Best of luck to all.
The discussion here has been really helpful, I’d like to add some of my thoughts and painfully earned Wisdom in case anyone else stumbles across this discussion thread like I did.
I definitely have pure O OCD, a lot of intrusive thoughts, obsessive worry, and obsessive rumination. Some of them have been really silly, in retrospect. I could write a long colorful list, but I know it could make some people spike.
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson9.php has some good advice.
What my therapist taught me was exposure therapy & response prevention. A bit different with pure O, but that approach, in combination with some of the techniques on the above website, plus my own experiences and observations, has given me the following strategy:
You think the horrible thoughts, you admit they might be true. For example- what if I’m “secretly” homosexual and have repressed it my whole life? what if I’m repressing some incredibly painful memory that’s making my life worse than it needs to be? what if I go crazy and drive into oncoming traffic?
You have to reach a point where you can say to yourself, maybe I am secretly gay, or maybe I will drive into traffic, maybe I want to be violent. Of course none of those things are true, but you have to come to terms with the possibility that they MIGHT be true. If you can think the horrible, scary thoughts, they eventually stop being quite so scary. Like Justin said, it’s a shift in brain state. It’s a kind of concession or surrender to the possibility of negative things.
OCD happens, in my opinion, because of some very deep underlying philosophical questions about human nature and reality. For example- what DOES separate you and I from people who do violent or abusive or criminal things? No one really knows for sure. You can argue about free will and personal responsibility and brain chemistry, but you’ll never get a solid answer. Is reality really real? I liked that one. Maybe we’re all existing in a virtual reality computer program and only have the illusion of consciousness. I don’t know.
Uncertainty is a natural part of existence, and those of us with Pure O are cursed, or maybe gifted, with the ability to recognize uncertainties other people don’t notice. We have thoughts and worries that shake our confidence in ourselves and the world. Maybe I’m repressing my natural homosexuality, maybe part of me wants to commit arson or blow up cats with firecrackers. Rationally, I know I would never do those things. But emotionally, you have doubt.
What helped me a lot was the realization that you can never know something is definitely true, but you can say that some things are more likely or probable than other things. Is it POSSIBLE I could lose my mind someday and become a bullet-spraying madman? Sure, I guess. Is it likely? No, there’s no evidence to suggest I’m at risk for doing it. I don’t obsess over whether I’m going to snap someday and climb a clock tower.
Once, I would have obsessed over it. But the “what if? what if?” thinking ends up being the “mental ritual” with pure O OCD. You think because it gives you a sense of control and the possibility of arriving logically at a final answer. But you have to face your fears of your own darkness, your own vulnerability- maybe I’ll develop schizophrenia, or be overtaken by a desire to abuse a child physically or sexually. But these are FEARS, they aren’t facts.
These fears are like shadows on a wall, or like scarecrows. If you take a quick glance at a scarecrow, it might look like a real person. If you freak out the instant you see a scarecrow and cast your eyes around and turn your back to the scarecrow and pray that it doesn’t hurt you, you’ll always be afraid of it, you’ll always think it’s real. But if you actually have the courage to look the scarecrow in the eye, you go through an initial shock and then your terror subsides, the longer you look at the scarecrow, the more courageously, you realize that it’s a powerless object that can’t hurt you, that it’s only your fear and imagination that makes it seem real. But to “look” at the scarecrow, literally, is difficult, because you have to take the chance that you’ll look it in the eye and see something evil or inhuman or terrifying staring back at you. But once you look at it, and you look at it persistently (exposure therapy), and don’t think ‘what if what if what if?’, if you face your worst fears about what you might be like or capable of, you do have your anxiety subside over time, and you can say with relative confidence, Hey I’m probably not a murder/arsonist/abuser, Hey I’m probably not going to lose my mind or snap or go crazy or become something I dread. And that ‘probably not’, that ‘pretty sure’ ends up being enough to let you keep your cool. Pure O shakes your confidence in yourself and the world, but what you get in the end is a stronger, sturdier confidence.
Probably not a bad person, probably not a schizophrenic, probably not gay, probably not evil,
adc
it kills me that i cant serve in the military. the pure “o” makes me feel as a failure that in world war II i would have been rejected because i have pure o
Hi All,
I suffer from all the symptoms of pure o and believe me it is a living hee.
I have been doing research on my symptoms and I have a question for all of you.
I consume a massive amount of caffeine everyday and have been for about 15 yrs.
I have been researching the possibility that my symptoms may be responsible for this. I notice that I am always more anxious right after a huge cup of coffee which then triggers the pure o.
On the websites relating to caffeine and anxiety, it states that this a very real possibility.
I was just wondering if anyone else consumes a large amount of caffeine and exhibits pure o symptoms.
I am going to give up caffeine and see if my symptoms subside.
Jennie
Hi. how refreshing to hear about similar sufferers. the term spike is a great one. must be the rush of anxiety we place on our obsessive concern/thought/dont really like calling it a thought anymore.
all the analogies and metaphors given by you all in this discussion are great, and im sure we all relate, spot on.
im not so sure that we are able to see consciousness in any greater way than anyone else, i think we are simply misusing our anxiety (fight or flight) ability. but i do see what you are saying.
The prabability thing is spot on ADC.. hard to grasp at first tho
so what is the answer? essentially avoidance of rumiantion. with this enough the anxiety should reduce and reduce until gone? (ive jus started therapy)
but pure o how this has ruined me life up to now! o well
cheers
Hi my names karl and i think i have pure o.for 7 years i have had loads of anxiety,obsessive and disturbing thoughts.I always thought ocd was a cleaning dissorder like so many and so i couldnt relate to it until i had a image of smackin my own dad in the face at my nans funeral and that made me really discusted in myself and then start thinkin that maybe i am crazy n maybe i will hit my loved ones,so that led me to research ocd properly and the results were amazing cus it was like i was reading about myself.
i have known for bout a month and my family do not understand atall and my sister said to me tdy that i am gona av to deal with it,witch made me mad!!my mum said dont be silly.People really dont understand what we go though do they.it hurts that they dont. i dont want sympathy i want understanding.
i would like to chat to anybody with pure o as we would understand each other,if there is anybody that can relate to me and wants to chat my msn is karl.cook@hotmail.com i would really appretiate it.i
I have been to doc and have counceling next month.
when i get cured and have the money i will raise the awarness of the illness if its the last thing i do!there just isnt the help out there and there should be.id like to talk to some1 with pure o to get more of an insite and wot help there is,i get that much anxiety that i shake and feel physically sick and have been sick,i have learnt to deal with it and just thought that this was my personallity.i obssess about havin a deseise and all the common thoughts.it takes so much of my time up.well hopefully i get cured and will able to help you people that are to scared or embarresed to come forward.i am studing ocd and am even lookin to start phychology and philosophy as this has really intressed me.
I think you are rite adc,we are people who question everything and life itself but is that a bad thing as we have the abillity to look at life in a different perspective.
Hi everyone! I also have ‘pure o’ and it was destroying my life. It began when I was 7 or 8 years old, maybe even earlier. At first it didn’t affect my life. But when I was 13 I began showing all the symptoms of ‘pure o’. At first I thought that only I was feeling all this and there is no one who feels the same and I could not tell about this my family, friends or someone else, hoping that I will be able to stop this. But I couldn’t.
I even couldn’t talk to my family and friends because I was afraid that I could hurt them with “black energy field” I thought I had in me(of course I understand that there is no such a field at all, but I cannot make myself believe in it) .
I was going to kill myself when a doctor prescribed me medicine that really made me feel much better BUT not only medicine helped me, the most helpful thing was thinking that this is just abnormal activity of anatomic receptors in my body, nothing else.
Now I am being treated, and feel better and better. IT IS POSSIBLE to defeat this disorder. Even if it seems to you that you won’t be able to do so.
BEST WISHES.
pure O is hell but you can be cured, im nearly there!!!! i been through most of what this article was talkin bout!!
there is a reason you put emphasis on thoughts, it is unravellable!! everything is first step understanding.
i recommend ‘overcoming obsessive thoughts’ amazon it.
I haven’t been on here in a while. My symptoms went away for about a year. Unfortunately now my obsessions are back and actually I’d forgotten what it felt like if you don’t have the disorder it’s almost impossible to describe the feeling of spikes. If it were possible for your brain to hurt, then I guess that would be what it feels like. I had gotten so used to not having them. Now, I don’t know what to do. I have so much guilt over to the things that I’ve done and I think I’ve ruined lmost of my relationships and the one that are still there I’m sure I’ll ruin given enough time and feel like nobody cares anymore I think that I burned all my bridges. Somebody said they thought I have borderline personality disorder I looked it out and seem to think the key feature is manipulation which is not a good quality to have think I’m just rambling. Thanks for listening anyway
If you want to feel a little more comforted about your condition, and you want to feel like someone out there understands you, read Franz Kafka’s novel, The Trial.
Hi all,
this certainly is a revelation for me, after years of wondering what was wrong. My guess is that pure O usually gets diagnosed when the ‘fears’ are gruesome or horrible to deal with (at least for the person concerned – funnily enough, I am sometimes attracted to women but I’m not at all worried about being bisexual or not). In my case, the spikes are extremely pleasurable (they involve romantic obsessions), and it is only recently that I realise how much they may have prevented me from getting what I wanted out of life.
I have had obsessions (almost always with guys) since I can remember (at least since I was 8 and I’m now in my ealy thirties). I always chose guys who were unavailable or who would make the most unlikely partners. In retrospect, I did this on purpose as my greatest fear in real life was that these remantic obsessions could actually lead to something real. There was often a short ‘up’ phase and then a longer down one as I realised how ridiculous these obsessions were. Since my late teens, these have begun to interfere with ‘real’ romantic relationships (and even caused the demise of a five year one though I’m not sure my ex really understood to what extent this played a part or if it even existed). The most bizarre part is that I am not always that attrcted to the men I obsess about (i.e. to me, they are not a better “catch”, and have often been a considerably worse one, than the person I’m currently dating). Of course I am racked by feelings of guilt towards my current partner (and past ones too) but have only actually cheated on someone once only to find out that this isn’t something for me (even if I try not to condemn other people doing this).
The interesting thing is that I became aware of how much I torture myself with these issues (it’s pretty normal to feel mildly physically attracted to people after all) the only time one of my romantic obsessions actually had a chance of transferring into real life. One of my ‘obsessions’ asked me out on a date (it had to happen sometime I guess). At the time, I told him I had a partner but that didn’t stop me from thinking about him all the time for months on end. Then I met him again by chance at a local club where we chatted for a bit and then, embarassed, I went to dance. He was just standing there watching me dancing and smiling. This is when I just totally flipped out and went to dance with the biggest guy in the place (who looked like a gangster). This was obviously me doing my best to scare him off (I’m quite a good dancer so I got away with just sharing one dance with the big guy). This was a real eye opener and even though I still have moments when I obsess about this guy I definitely have to deal with the pure O and the fear (whatever it is) that’s behind them.
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